Here we go again

25 hours until my next chemo session.

I am really feeling OK. The acid reflux is not too noticeable (of course, I am taking drugs for it but I don't seem to need the second dose). My intestines are behaving quite normally. This is probably TMI, but my bottom is almost normal too. LOL! I am easily tired but then again it is hot, humid and sticky and who isn't tired a bit more easily in this weather? It's just more than normal for me. My friend Dana (who I really need to call soon) warned me about the cumulative effects. As always, she was right. :) I am definitely more tired this go round than the first time.

Still, for all the positives, I'm not in a good mood today. Today I start pushing fluids so that I will be well-hydrated tomorrow. I go back to taking even more medications starting today to help combat the chemo side effects. Tomorrow morning, I take Rachel to camp and then I start watching the clock. I have to time when I take Emend, the miracle anti-nausea drug (just approved for post-surgical use, check out the link if you are a business minded type) and apply the EMLA cream to my port so it won't hurt so much when they access it. Funny, the first time they accessed the port, they used Hurricane spray (a topical anesthetic) and I barely felt it go in. The second time, I had the EMLA and they used the spray and it hurt like.. well.. It hurt! Once they are in, it's fine. They draw the blood and run the IVs right through it and it doesn't hurt when any of that happens nor when they disconnect it.

Ahh.. The port. I have written about all this stuff in my journal but not here bc I started this about 2 months later. My port went in at the end of May. I have to tell you that this procedure totally FREAKED me out! OMG! I was not this anxious about the lumpectomy and sentinal node biopsy (SNB). I think I was less upset about the whole cancer diagnosis than this stupid port insertion. I realized it was partly a control thing. I know how to do a needle localization and a lumpectomy. I've never done a sentinal node biopsy. That procedure became the gold standard after I finished residency but I do know how to do an axillary node dissection and I'm sure I could easily do a SNB if I had to (you know.. if I was in the middle of the wilderness with a vial of blue dye and had to do an emergency SNB.. LOL!). I've never inserted a port though. Yes, I do have a clue about how it is done, but it's not something that my hands would automatically and simply be able to do.

I had my port inserted under conscious sedation in the radiology dept at St. Pete's, my old home away from home. There's something nice about walking in there for these sorts of things bc I have an instant comfort level from spending so many years there. When we checked into admissions, I saw several familiar faces. I had forgotten it was Wednesday, grand rounds day for OB/GYN. Most didn't see me and a few said "hi." One, someone who was actually at my wedding, did stop and ask questions. He was very concerned (and how rightly so!) but I was SO not ready to discuss it. Most of the blog readers who know me know this is not my normal nature. I'm usually quite free about discussing anything, even myself. I just wasn't ready. Fortunately, Howie came to my rescue and said we were just there visiting. LOL!

Next, we went to the waiting room and waited and waited and waited. Howie was annoyed with the length of time and the lady on her cell phone. I was happy to wait forever. Didn't want to do this. When we finally were called into the room, everyone knew me. I didn't remember all these nurses, certainly knew faces, but not names. Still, they all remembered me. That was nice. When I started to get teary, one confided in me about her ovarian cancer experience... And then I remembered her. Finally, they took me to the procedure room. Once again, I knew everyone. That helped tremendously. I can remember being getting on the table and being draped. I asked to see the actual port (see.. there's that control thing again). The scrub nurse was funny. She tells me not to look at the other things... you know.. the big scary needles that come in the port kit. Funny, but those needles were certainly less scary to me than something foreign that was going to be actually IMPLANTED in my body!! My memories after this are minimal. I remember Chris saying he was putting the Versed into my IV and then I remember him telling me he was going to start injecting local (if you've never had a local, it feels like sharp bee stings... not nice). I have ZERO memory of the injections or anything else. Next thing I knew, it was over and they were taking the drapes off. It was about a million times easier than I expected. I had absolutely no pain whatsoever from it until late that night. Must have used a nice long acting local :) Not long enough though. I was sore for about a week. I did go back to work 3 days later.

Back to the chemo. I am planning to go to this session alone. The benadryl doesn't hit me until a while later so driving home won't be a problem. My sister volunteered to come, but it won't work out time-wise bc she has somewhere else she has to be in the afternoon. Plus, if she's going to take a day off to come, I'd rather it be that last one. Not sure that anyone is around who could swing it anyway. Too many people away, working, or home with their kids this time of year. Maybe I'll even get to read this time.