Tattoos and New Years Resolutions

Good news and bad news.

This statement is both.

TATTOOS HURT!!!!

I just had to say that.
One would think the fact that if I close my eyes I can't tell if someone is touching my chest, I wouldn't have PAIN! Of course, if you remember my story of having nipple reconstruction done without sedation or general anesthesia, you know that this is something we already discovered. Still, it came as a surprise to me just how very much I could feel. Not pleasant at all.

I did opt for local anesthesia and I am so glad I did. It STILL hurt in certain areas and it certainly did sting as the local was being infiltrated. What amazed me was that it not only hurt while the tattoos were being done, my pseudo-breasts hurt afterwards. I was sore for the remainder of the day and into the night. I suppose I could have taken a Tylenol or something stronger, but it was nothing compared to the post-op pain I've had with other procedures. Plus there was something odd and bizarre about the fact that I was experiencing discomfort in an area where I allegedly don't have feeling.

Now, more good news.

I cannot even begin to explain how real these things look. If you are a breast reconstruction patient and haven't had this done yet or have been putting it off, it is SO worth having done. Even if you don't have nipples. It's been a day and I can already say that those huge long mastectomy scars that run across each "foob" and into my side on each side are much less noticable. The eye just doesn't go there. It's amazing. I realize the color will fade, but even the color they are now is OK. They used a base coat of one color (flesh 4, I believe) and then added several other colors to make them look natural (I know brick red, chocolate brown and some kind of pink were used). Simply amazing. It's that something out of nothing bit again. Amazing.

I'm really hoping this takes. There's a small percentage of people who end up with the color rapidly fading due to mast cell activity. Knowing that I do tend to be an allergic type person, I'm hoping I'm not in that percentage. I don't want to do this again. Don't want to even need a touch up. I am so very much done with procedures and surgery. My number one personal New Year's resolution is "SURGERY FREE IN 2008!" I will gladly perform any and all surgeries on other people. I am just not planning on having anything done in 2008... and maybe even never again. Never is a very long time though. I'll take it in smaller steps. I know I made need some revisions and certainly, the implants may very well need replacing someday. In the meantime, I just want to finish healing both these tattoos and my blasted toe.

Surgery free. I like the sound of that.

Another Day, Another Doctor

I think I much prefer having my appointments more spread out than this.

Yesterday's issues have been resolved. My normal podiatrist called me back, told me he would address the issue and told me there would be no charge for the visit. I have an appointment to see him after the new year.

Today is something different though.

Today is TATTOO day!!

I never in my wildest dreams imagined I'd have tattoos. Granted there is nothing exotic or creative about these tattoos. That's really just fine. I've known for a very long time that anything I'd choose to put on my body would be something that I would hate eventually. I change my mind and my tastes far too much!

It's kind of funny. I've had the reconstructed nipples now for 5 months. I've gotten used to them. Now, with the tattoos, I'll be getting areolas and color. So bizarre when you think about it. Just like when the nipples where made back in July.

I admit I'm a tiny bit nervous about the whole thing. Not too nervous though because, unlike your regular tattoo parlor and even unlike the other breast reconstruction plastic surgeon in the office, my doc uses a local anesthetic! I know, I know.. I allegedly have no feeling. But that's not the reality. We learned when I had the nipple reconstruction that I actually DO have feeling, especially on the right side. Ouch! I felt the needle for the local go in on both sides, it only hurt on the one side... and that was 5 months ago. I didn't get to watch that procedure though. I was draped and prepped in the usual sterile fashion (that's a dictation phrase every surgeon and many medical transcriptionists will recognize LOL). I wonder if I'll get to watch this. Rachel is accompanying me and is hoping that at least she will get to watch!

My appointment is at 11 am today. I totally forgot to ask how long it should take. I'm thinking we'll have to go out to lunch afterwards. :) What a long way we have come, my little girl and I. It really wasn't all that long ago, spring 2006, when we went out for lunch after that drastic hair cutting session. I remember asking her about a million times if the wig was still on straight. I was so self conscious that first outting. I was so self conscious everytime I wore it those first few weeks. Funny how things change, because at the end, I was self conscious when I DIDN'T wear it! LOL! I also remember the tears. I really held myself together and didn't cry when my hair was cut down to nothing. We were actually laughing and having fun. The tears came later. No tears today! They actually came yesterday. I'm tired of dealing with the aftermath of cancer, but glad I am around to do so.

Please and Thank you or IT'S IN THE CHART!

In the last year and a half, I've spent far more time than I ever envisioned I would on the other side of the proverbial (or not so proverbial) exam table.



There are some (and these people annoy me endlessly) who say I'm going to be a better physician as a result from what I've learned by being a cancer patient. Hate to disappoint those folks (NOT) but what did or did not make me a good physician has not changed. And, saying something like that implies you know something about the type of care I provided in the past. I've not ever heard someone who actually knows that first or even third hand say something like that. I think what might have changed is my level of tolerance. I have absolutely no tolerance for substandard medical care of any sort.



Can you tell I had a medical appointment today? LOL



Today's appointment is reminiscent of when one of the ob/gyn residents made rounds on me when I was in the hospital last fall after my marathon surgery (a little review for those that might not know or remember... I had a bilateral mastectomy, tissue expander placement, port removal, and bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy... and a few other smaller procedures). It was so obvious that this resident did not bother reading my chart before he walked into the room. He clearly had NO idea what specific surgeries I had and by what approach. This was the very next morning after the surgery. Not a time when I was up for teaching, but I moved into that mode very quickly.



This may come as a shock to some, but there is actually a reason, aside from insurance requirements and possible lawsuits, why we keep medical charts in the first place. {warning: I'm feeling the sarcasm come on}. Did you know that physicians actually kept records BEFORE there ever were insurance companies in the first place? :P This is so very basic, but the first thing you do, before you even enter the room, is you read the chart. It's like a good book. There's so much information and background in there. It's why we, as patients, fill out all those forms. As a physician, I respect the time someone spends filling them out. I still ask the questions though because I often get more tidbits of relevant info. When I am a patient, I expect the same courtesy. Not only is there important information in there that the patient has written, but you can {more sarcasm} actually find out what the previous physicians have found/prescribed/thought/planned, etc. If, perchance, one does not look at the chart before entering the room, one looks at it after introducing oneself to the patient. It's like saying please and thank you. It's basic, basic, basic.



So, that's what happened again today. When it happened with that resident, he obviously reported it to his superiors (I would not let him take off a dressing because I DIDN'T HAVE ONE TO TAKE OFF!!!! LOL). He must have been a good guy because he let them know that I was not pleased and why. I first explained that he needed to read ANY chart before he walked into a room, no matter what his superiors told him to do. I also explained that I understood the pressure to get everything done as I had been an ob/gyn resident at the same hospital, but that not looking at the chart is inexcusable and something someone should have told him long before. I rarely ever pull the doctor card, but when I am complaining about medical care I think it shows where I am coming from. I used to be involved in teaching students and residents, but I am not now. Honestly, I think this is the sort of thing, like please and thank you, that should not have to be taught at this level.



Today, however, I was not seeing a resident. I went to see a podiatrist, someone who has been out of training at least as long as I have. I did not see the podiatrist I normally see. Instead, I saw his partner. When I am seeing a practicing medical provider of any sort, I have basic expectations. If it is the first time I am seeing you, I expect you to introduce yourself and I expect you to read my chart. "Have I seen you before?" is not usually a question for the patient, but if it is, and the answer ends up being "no," that's your cue to LOOK AT THE CHART. Sadly, I am no longer an uncomplicated early 40-something with a single straight forward problem. I have a nice little problem list. You should be aware of that when you speak to me about my medical issue, ideally before you even enter the room. I do not expect to have to give you a full detailed history in the middle of the appointment or even at the end of the appointment because a) IT'S IN THE CHART and b) IT'S IN THE CHART. Your opinion becomes worthless if you don't know my medical history and current medical problems. You just wasted my time and my money. Maybe. I've already complained to the office about this and do not plan to pay for an appointment where not only was nothing done, but the advice given did not apply to situation.

Totally ruined my day.

And, it reminded me why I stick to physicians who come recommended by other healthcare professionals. This is not the first time I've seen a partner who was not up to snuff. It shouldn't have to be this way. As I mentioned before, when I am in the patient role, I don't bring up the doctor card. I expect the same care as anyone else. Days like this make me wonder though. This office clearly does not realize I'm a physician (even though IT'S IN THE CHART, lol) but maybe they should. Maybe I need to give my name as Dr. Ackerman and sign in that way. It should not have to be that way... and it won't be. I will not see this podiatrist again. I'll stick to the one that actually looks at the chart.

Am I too picky? Are my standards too high? I don't think so.

The drama of December

Wow. Blog much? I guess I don't! LOL.

So much going on. Lots of running around. All things that were definitely more difficult for me at this time last year, even though I didn't want to admit that at the time. I much prefer being further away from treatment (shh... yes, I am still being treated but taking a pill everyday has become routine).

I never shared the results of haircut number two. I think I can safely say that the chemocurl is gone now. I still have curlier hair, it's just not those tight curls I had before. I think I was always fighting my curls in the world before chemo. I definitely had wavy hair, but I was always trying to get it to be somewhat straight. Now, I treat it like curly hair, I don't brush it and I use those shampoos and products for curly hair. Who knew? LOL.

And since a post like this deserves a photo

This was taken at the end of November, just after haircut number 2. This is my friend Nancy, one of my college roomies. She and her girls came up for the Princeton-RPI hockey game. We went to RPI, who happened to win the game. :) I am extremely proud of Nancy, who looks lost in that sweatshirt... something that fit her a year or so ago. She will be featured in the March issue of the magazine put out by Curves for it's members. Over the course of about 2 years, she has lost 200 lbs through diet and exercise alone. That's right, diet and exercise alone! And a good measure of persistence. I've known her for over half my life and never would have recognized her without her kids. She sounds the same and her eyes are the same, but that's about it. The last time we saw each other was just shortly before my diagnosis and when she was at about the halfway point, so we were both new women in one way or another. I'm also going to point out that I actually fit into my old band shirt from college. :P

And because our girls always reunite as if they had just seen each other the day before instead of a year or two before, here's a photo of the whole gang minus dh, who took the photo. That's 11 yo Nikki, not yet 11 yo Rachel (she has another 3 months to go), and 13 yo Emily. While they were visiting, we went through some old scrapbooks, going all the way back to March 1 1997, when Rachel was still in utero (for 5 more days).

I did title this the drama of December. There has been a lot of drama lately. Fortunately, it's all just life with a tween. In the last week, we've had 5 performances and countless rehearsals of the Nutcracker (almost, still 2 school performances to go today), There was a band concert on her only night off from dance where Rachel forgot her flute (don't even go there... it was the first event that Howie could attend in sometime and he rushed the 45 minutes to home to get her flute, but arrived moments too late). Some little dramas at school, mostly involving hating gym. Nothing too huge. Just enough to make me excited for winter break!

My own little drama is going quite smoothly at the moment. I am getting my tattoos, the last stage in my breast reconstruction, on Dec 20. Picking the color was rather anticlimatic. I am so very pale, that there were really only two possible choices of colors. The surgeon had a card with areaola colors grouped by skin color. He held the card up and the choice was obvious. Of course, reconstruction is not a static event. There may be revisions and I may need the actual implants replaced someday. The tattoos may also need some touching up in the future. But for now, this is it for me. I've had enough.

Can you believe it?

I'm going for haircut #2 this week.

It's only been 6 weeks, but my bangs are driving me nuts again. So, I'm going back in! LOL.

My second haircut since it all fell out. I suspect I'm going to need haircuts more often keeping it this way. I could also use color again, but I'm too cheap to spend all that money at once. I swear I need to learn how to cover my grays myself one of these days. If only they'd put the directions on the outside of those boxes so I could judge for myself without buying it first!

What's on tap this week

It's a busy week.

Lots of things on the schedule. A little shopping, baking, yoga, driving Rachel everywhere, getting Rachel new jazz shoes for the Nutcracker, picking out tattoo colors, a few shifts at work, a hockey game. All sorts of fun.

Did you catch the one I slipped in there?

Me? A tattoo? That's something I never thought I'd experience. I know myself well enough to know that any tattoo I might have picked out as a teenager would not be something I'd want as a 20-something. Any tattoo I'd pick out as a 20-something, would not be something I'd want as a 50-something. You get the picture. I might admire tattoos that other people have, but it's not something I've ever actively wanted for myself. At least not for more than about 5 minutes. So, it's just not me.

Yet, this Thursday, I have an appointment to pick out tattoo colors. We (and by we I mean me) are entering the last phase of my reconstruction. The nipples that were created back in the summer are now well-healed and have settled down (read that as shrunk to normal sizes). It's time for a little color.

Honestly, as we've gone through each phase, I've thought "Hey, I don't need to do this. I can live with them like this." Hmm..... Not true for the first phase when I just had partially deflated expanders. But it was true for the nipple-less phase. I could have stayed like that forever. It was OK. The breasts or foobs (remember fake boobs=foobs) looked OK without them, especially under clothes, but they look so much more real with them. I imagine I'll feel the same after this part. They look OK with invisible colorless arealae. You can't even tell there's no color under clothing. LOL. I have seen the final product on others and it is amazing. You'd have to look closely to see that it's not real. I am looking foward to that part. I imagine it sounds strange that I am looking forward to not being reminded of the scars on my chest. The scars will still be there, but with the addition of color, the eye will not notice the scars as the first thing you see.

Kind of nervous about this. Not big time nervous, just a little nervous. It's something permanent so I want to make the "right" decision. Reminds me why I never had an interest in getting a tatto in the first place!

Looking for an update?

I know, I know.

Long time, no blogging. I've probably lost my handful of once faithful readers.

My excuses?

I don't know. I've certainly had many entries written in my head. There was the one about being relieved that October, National Pink Ribbon Month, was over. There was the new episode of Tales from the Cancer Chronicles, the one where Mom (me) can make her boobs dance. Oh.. there were actually two episodes for Tales from the Cancer Chronicles. The other one was yet another silly boob trick. If you hold up a flash light to your foob (a new word for fake boob... get it.. Fake bOOB. LOL), it will glow. Not the flashlight. The foob. For some reason, one of mine glows better than the other. You can also see all the vessels left in the skin. Cool, huh? Granted, this is a trick I never thought to try with my old breasts. Someone try it and let me know. :P And not on a radiated breast. I can almost guarantee that won't work.

As for everything else... I had a nice normal exam (we like those) with my breast surgeon this week. I see the medical oncologist in 3 months. I see both of these docs every 6 months, but the appointments are spread out so that I'm seeing someone every 3 months. I see the podiatrist again next month. Yup, still working on that toenail issue from August. Not pretty. So glad it's winter and I don't want to wear sandals! Really hoping it's normal by summer!

I finally got to meet up with once of my fellow YSC friends, Steph, earlier this month. Amazing what you can do with a timer on the camera. Too bad you don't get to see me jumping over the fence and running to get into the shot. This was also probably about 2 weeks after my first post-chemo haircut. Definitely much less poofier than it was before. I'm thinking I might just keep it around this length. Hmm.. I'm also thinking maybe I should have gotten that shirt in a smaller size after all. I generally buy everything one to two sizes smaller than I wore before, but when something comes in S, M or L, I just go for the medium when I probably should try on the small to at least make sure I'm buying the right size. I'm looking forward to the day when I am actually used to this body and can buy things without trying them on in every size!

A little more Halloween and a sales pitch from Rachel

Here she is.
The girlie girl rockstar in all her fabulousness.

LOL.
This is the costume Rachel created in a matter of moments. I told her that I thought is looked a bit too much like what she wears everyday. Apparently she agreed. I didn't take a picture, but I can share that the very next day, she wore these boots, leggings, skirt and the light colored shirt to school! The boots are a size too big but she wore them anyway, for the sake of fashion.

I swear this child is going to end up in business someday.

Her latest sales pitch is to you, my blog readers.

(from Rachel)

My school Parents Association is selling magazine subscriptions to raise money for activities. My goal is to sell 18 subscriptions so that I can win a limo lunch cruise! You can renew or order a new subscription. Click on this link to order.

Happy Halloween!

We started celebrating a little early this year. This picture is from the 5th grade dance I chaperoned on Friday night. It seems to be the only photo I have with me in it out of the 200 I took that night. Thanks to Patria for grabbing my camera and getting it done!

No, no pink wig for me this year. :P It wouldn't fit on my head once I had more than a 1/2 inch or so of hair. It was actually a kids costume wig I found at Target. What's funny is that in my right hand in the photo is a witch's hat trimmed with a purple boa. All us chaperones were going to wear one. I couldn't fit mine on my head thanks to my hair.

I should mention that I actually have gotten a hair cut. I went to someone who only cuts curly hair. He totally thinned it out so no more Afro for me. It's probably a little flatter than usual in the picture because I had tried several times to wear that hat! LOL

And the super observant might notice that Rachel is wearing the Warrior in Pink scarf from last year. It was a gift from one of my chemo angels last fall. I sometimes cannot believe it was only last year.

Miss Rachel is considering wearing a different costume for Trick or Treat tonight. So many other years, she's worn something different to whatever events occurred before Halloween, saving her "real costume" for the actual day. Now, she a big Middle Schooler and there are no costume events on the actual day for them. She's undecided between being a dancer from A Chorus Line or Minnie Mouse. I vote for Minnie Mouse. She looks like a dancer several days a week already! That's not a costume! LOL

Keeping it light

There are so many entries I have composed in my head but I'm keeping it light this morning.

I've been tagged by Andrea

*4 JOBS THAT I'VE HAD
- Character Performer at Great Adventure (also ride operator and costumer!)
- Easter Bunny
- Technical marketing Specialist for HIV and Hepatitis Diagnostic Products (did that one while going to med school)
- ob/gyn

*4 MOVIES THAT I CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER
- Hairspray (the original)
- Hairspray (the new version)
- Dead Again
- The Princess Bride

*4 TV SHOWS THAT I WATCH
- Grey's Anatomy
- Biggest Loser
- Big Love
- The Riches

*4 PLACES I HAVE LIVED
- Manalapan Township, NJ
- Troy, NY
- Long Beach, CA
- Princeton. NJ

*4 FAVORITE FOODS
- Jelly Belly Jelly Beans
- Lobster (probably because it was a forbidden fruit when I was a kid)
- fresh pineapple
- creme brulee

*4 FAVORITE COLORS
- deep red
- sage green
- purple
- pink

*4 PLACES I WOULD LOVE TO BE NOW
- a quiet full service resort on a Carribean island
- Kona Village in Hawaii
- London, England
- I'd like to do a tour of the west and see the Grand Canyon, Yellowstone, Bryce canyons in Utah, etc.

*4 NAMES I LIKE, BUT WOULD NOT NAME MY CHILDREN
- Sarah (already in use in the family)
- Jeremy (OK.. I probably would have used this had I had a boy)
- Michael (already in use)
- Rebecca (this was in the running for Rachel, but did not work with our last name)

I'll have to figure out who to tag later! :o

One more try... Race for the Cure photos!

If the photo above is actually visible, here's the who's who!

Top row- Joi, Lisa, Debbie, Debbie's parents, John and Patria

Bottom row- Katie, Sarah, Me, Rachel, Kendra, Devin with Robert behind him

Sleeping in the stroller- Marco

Race for the Cure

********************Don't know why the photos are not showing up. I think Blogspot was having a bad day when I uploaded them. I noticed there are some other photos that were once present that are missing from some older posts now too. I'll try to re-upload everything later.

Joi, Lisa, Debbie, Debbie's parents, John and Patria (Top row)
Katie, Sarah, Me, Rachel, Kendra, Robert and Devin
Marco (sleeping in the stroller)

I am actually a little taller than the 10 yr old girls in the photo! My knees are bent. Really! I am bending down a little. :P

I thought I had a picture of my sign. Sadly, it was hard to fit in everyone's names. Mine listed ME (of course), my cousin Sally and her mom Rose Claire, my other aunt, Phyllis, plus Stef, Steph, Dana and all my YSC friends.

Here's to Friday!

Tomorrow is my last official day. :) Starting Saturday morning, I go back to my normal world of just working nights and weekends instead of working days, nights and weekends, all 12-24 hr shifts.


Tomorrow is also the day Rachel comes home! My "baby" has been away at The Farm School in MA for the last week, slopping the pigs, feeding the cows and chickens, clearing brush, cooking, cleaning and whatever else needs to be done on a real working farm. This is not the first time she's been away from home (Space Camp in August 2006), but it's the first time she's been away this long without any phone contact at all. We're lucky that the school has posted daily updates, including a few photos. I pulled the last two off the site. :) At least I know she looks good and has taken to wearing her hair in pigtails! LOL. Can you spot her in the second photo? Yes, she has coordinating hot pink boots to match her hot pink headband. Those boots are a whole other story. We'd been shopping for muck boots and finally found a pair at Walmart. Silly me, I didn't know to look for Wellies. Never heard of them before. They sure are cute, but I didn't discover them until I had already bought the so called "ugly black boots for BOYS" (can you hear her saying that? LOL). I told her she was just going to have to live. I even offered to paint them. Then, she wore them to school for a day (teacher's suggestion) and ended up with blisters. Yikes. It was too late to order something on-line, but we learned that Nordstroms carried cuter boots. Sadly, they were not in her size. The clerk did find Croc boots in her size though. He came out and apologized that they only had hot pink in her size. Rachel's response was "YES!" So, she is now the proud owner of the much more comfortable hot pink Croc boots.

And, now my final plug for the NJ Race for the Cure. THANK YOU so much to all that have supported our little team, Breasts are for Babies. We far surpassed our meager goals due to your help! Can't wait to see those of you who will be joining us there too!

What? It's not September anymore?

I was right.

September flew right by. Once again, I feel like I have missed so much, but at least this time around, it wasn't because I was stuck at home with 4 drains, unable to drive or do much of anything for myself!

I have one more week of full-time plus work left. 60 hours to work this week and then life returns to normal. Sort of. Life then jumps into in a catch-up period. I have medical appointments galore for myself and Rachel has several dental/orthodontic related appointments. All things that couldn't fit into the schedule while I was working these crazy hours. I admit I have enjoyed this time, at least while at work. I don't enjoy missing what I've been missing at home though. It will be nice to get back to my normal part-time schedule for a while. At least until I figure out my next step professionally.

One more plug for the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure.

My team page is here .

I think it may be too late to register on line, but you can still help. :)

The Race for the Cure

Just 24 hrs before the deadline, I finally decided to not just attend but to register my own team for the NJ Race for the Cure on Oct 14 at Six Flags Great Adventure.

Here's the team website, Breasts are for Babies. You can either click on the "join Melissa's team" button and join us as a runner or walker (I'll be doing the latter as I'll be coming off a 24 hr shift) or even as a sleeper (you'll get a pillow case instead of a T-shirt). Or you can click on the "support Melissa" button and make a donation. Rachel is registered for the Fun Run (for 10 and under).

I'm not big on fundraising, so this is about the extent of my plea. :)

The 80's called....

and asked that I return my wardrobe from that era.

And more. Much more.

I did it.

I finally did it.

For years and years, I've had this nicely sized walk-in closet stuffed the brim with clothing. The sizes range from an 8 to an "I don't ever want to be that big again" 14. The clothing dates back to as far as the 1980s. Yes, I actually found the dress I wore to my high school graduation in the closet. Rachel did not want to keep it (so.. it's a little yellow and a little out of style... LOL), so out it went along with my banana yellow and lime green jump suits. Complete with shoulder pads. And, just because that image is not complete without a photo...

Aw... come on... you didn't have one too? I actually had 3 including one in black. I admit, that even back then, I mostly wore the black one. I thought I looked sharp in it. And thin.

So, on the eve of the anniversary of the day my hair sprouted, I woke up and decided it was finally time. 90% of the clothing did not fit anyway. Even the things I bought in this century. I'm pretty much keeping just what I've bought this year and just few older T-shirts to wear for exercising.

9 full large trash bags went to Goodwill. I'm sure someone will love these items for an 80's dance. Maybe. LOL! Not every bag was filled with clothing from the distant past. There were plenty of things that were bought in the last 5-10 years that just do not fit my reconstructed chest. It was painful to give up some of my favorite outfits, but the reality is that they no longer looked nice at all. :( But, it's not as much fun to take pictures of that sort of clothing... so more of the 80's and what was I thinking?? LOL!

I so loved this black taffetta and velvet number. Even with the double layer of double thick shoulder pads! LOLBoth Rachel and I love this fabric. Thought it might make nice pillows or maybe a curtain. Didn't everyone have a floral dress like this? I had about a dozen.


Ah yes... another of those floral dresses. This one was hard to part with because it was my favorite. OK. It is a size 7 and I will never be a size 7 again. An 8, yes. Not a 7. I wore this the day I met Howie's extended family. It was what I wore to Sara's Bat Mitzvah. So what if Sara is getting married this year. So what if it was something like 18 years ago. I know, I know. Don't worry. The dress went too.

Rachel says that Stacy and Clinton need to thank me for doing this on my own. :o And I say that I still could use a visit from that dynamic duo to help me figure out how I should be filling all that empty space in my closet. That rack behind me in the photos is the middle rack in the closet. When I woke up this morning, it was jam packed, from one end to the other. Now it is sparsly filled with a few hangers, a SMALL handful of dresses, a new hanging shoe rack and a hanging sweater rack that holds my pocketbook collection. :)

L'Shana Tova

Happy New Year! For the uninitiated, that's what Rosh Hashana is and l'shona tova is my wish to you all for a happy, healthy and sweet new year.

And now for a little newsflash:
It took one week to put it on and two weeks to take it off. Nevertheless, I am happy to report that I have lost the weight I put on during the cruise. Funny how I still managed to gain weight despite being pretty careful about what I ate and exercising daily!!

It's so strange to scroll down and see that photo from my birthday last year. It still is just as surreal as it was when it was happening. And while I admit that I am now happy with my curls, it still is odd to see photos because it's not how I picture myself. In my mind, I still look more like my profile pic on this site- straighter hair, with waves, not loose curls everywhere.

That's all.. just some random thoughts for the day. I'm now about 1/2 way through this stint at working full time. I suppose I should call it full time plus as I'm doing anywhere from 48-84 hours a week. It's like residency all over again except I have a little more "off" time than I did back then!

Adventures in Portrait Photography

Those with several children can probably relate well to this.

We took Rachel plus my niece and nephew to have a portrait done as a gift for my dad for his 70th birthday later this week. (Yes, lots of birthdays in our family this week.. Dad's, mine, his wife's and even my grandfather's birthday). Miss Hannah really was not very interested in having her picture taken. She wasn't interested much in smiling either until we had left the store, of course! LOL. We spent over an hour all for the want of a single photo.

Here are the results.

The last one is actually my favorite.

Happy Birthday to Me!

Kind of a mixed up day.



So happy to have another birthday! Seriously. Nothing like having had a potentially fatal disease to make you appreciate aging. :)



It's also a day when I miss the call my mom would have made to me, usually sometime around 5:16 pm, my birth time. :)


Took Rachel to school this morning, something that was a little anti-climatic. We did our traditional first day photos at home and at school (one at each place) but no other pictures. I guess she is too old for all that. It also doesn't help that yesterday was orientation and I wasn't there for that. First school event I have missed in several years.


I know I've posted both of these before, but I wanted to share the contrast. What a difference a year makes, huh?

Cruise highlights and a little lowlight

Some shots from the cruise:



This is actually from the return trip, in the wee hours of the morning (about 5:30 am) just after we crossed under the bridge on the way to the pier (midtown Manhattan). I have some cool shots of the Statue of Liberty, but most of them were taken on the vertical, so you'll have to wait for at least some basic photo editting! These are all straight out of the camera. :)

Iguanas were everywhere in St. Thomas. This was one of many hanging out in the outdoor eating area at Coral World.

I loved this shot on the little screen on my camera. If you can't tell, it's a turtle peering out over the water. I'm now itching to learn how to use photo actions to make some of these sorts of shots even better. I've got a ton to learn first, I think.. maybe.

This is the only formal shot we bought. Incidentally, it scanned just fine, as you can see. I was not pleased with the cost of the pictures on this cruise. More than I had remembered from other cruises, plus there were no candids like we had on other cruiselines. The candids were usually my favorites. Plus both my husband and daughter said my photos are better than the ones we had to pick from. Maybe, maybe not... but I'm not in the photos I take. Anyway, I had to buy this one because it is the only picture of me in my new dress. :P I like this dress. It's essentially the same style as the one below, (the one I bought for Jessica's Bat Mitzvah) but obviously more summery.

Just found this one. It's from the second formal night, taken on our enormous wrap around balcony. It's probably the best example of where my hair is now, a year after chemo was done. Still very curly, but then again, I have not had it cut yet. This was taken about a week before my birthday. For contrast, you might want to look here (scroll down to Oct 13.. yes my bday is Sept 6, but I was otherwise occupied last September so it wasn't posted til the next month). Hey look- there's even a hint of cleavage. That's all. A hint. And that's just fine.

Here I go again. This is actually the second time I am posting a photo of myself in a bathing suit. And I still haven't lost the weight I had last summer. LOL. OK. In reality, I gained even more but I lost that and I'm back to about were I was during chemo. My arm looks funny because Rachel was slipping as she was trying to climb on the rock with me! LOL! This was taken on one of those disposable waterproof cameras at the Baths in Virgin Gorda, one of the highlights and lowlights of the trip. Mostly a highlight. I would love to get a waterproof digital or a smaller digital with a waterproof case for something like this in the future. All our cave shots came out very poorly because there was no flash. Guess I'll just have to go back! Anyway, the caves were amazing. The water was gorgeous and calm. The snorkling was incredible.... until my little incident occured. Nothing like getting your brain tossed right back into Cancerville when you are mentally at the furthest point away from that. Just a silly little thing, she says NOW. While snorkling in the crystal blue waters, I lost a toenail. No trauma. Didn't hit anything. It just simply lifted off. Not completely. It was hanging by a thread so I put a bandaid on and kept the nail on until we got home. Didn't seem silly at the time. I admit I was traumatized, but I got over it quickly because there was so much more I wanted to see at the Baths.

That seems to be all blogger will let me load for now.

So, it's back to reality tomorrow.

Rachel has middle school orientation. I am back to work. I have about 6 more weeks of this crazy schedule and then things return to the quiet normal. A happy medium would be nice and is something I am slowly working on achieving. Tomorrow will be Howie's first day working from home. He'll be doing that twice a week while I'm working both days and nights.