my cup(s) overfloweth

Had my final fill yesterday.

I am now not just a little over expanded, but fully and hugely over expanded. OK. So it's just 3 or 4 ounces over, but it feels like a gallon!

It's like going backwards.
I had loosed up a bit, was used to the new size, and was moving around better. Now I feel like the weight of the world, and then some, is on my chest. I can't move my arms as well. Just can't get comfortable, even with Valium on board.

This too shall pass. At least some of it. My chest muscles will get used to this, they'll stretch and then it will be easier again. Of course, I'll still be living with these bricks called tissue expanders sitting on my chest. But it will be easier. Not normal. Just easier. It will never be normal again. Just a new normal. A much more comfortable one after my next surgery in 3 months!!

I am back to suspecting that I will end up larger than I had hoped. After a lifetime of being very well endowed, complete with shouder grooves and back discomfort (both indications for a breast reduction BTW), I wanted tiny little perky "girls." The reality is that my chest wall is too wide for something tiny. I'll end up with what is appropriate for my body. Something in proportion. That might be a C cup, not the B I had dreamed of. Another reality is that I don't have a good idea of what a B cup really is. LOL! Of course, I do need to remember that I am, right now, as I type, larger than I'll be with my final implants. The size I was just before this fill is a tiny bit bigger than I'll be in the end. I did like that size very much when we were clothes shopping. There's enough for cleavage and not so much that I will still have to buy larger tops than bottoms. It's hard to imagine what the final result will be because I still had considerable swelling under my arms and around the implants. The surgical team does say it's improving. Hard for me to tell because I see it everyday.

OK. I've talked myself back down. I'm not going to be bigger than I wanted. I really did like the size I was last week. The shape could use a great deal of help (expanders are not the same shape and certainly not the same consistency as the silicone implants will be). The size was good. :)

I start physical therapy a little later today. I asked for it. I'm viewing it as my own personal trainer. It's time to get my strength back, even if I have to learn new ways to do so. I also bugged my plastic surgeon enough that I'm allowed some cardio other than walking. It's probably obvious that you cannot run with bricks for boobs. LOL! We do have two exercise bikes and I'm allowed to start using the recumbant bike. It's not going to be easy. We bought the second one bc I couldn't reach the pedals on the recumbant bike, but I can do with with a pillow behind me on the seat. Of course, now that I have permission, I'm not sure where I can squeeze it in with all these physical therapy and doctors appointments!

Well, that's life in the slow lane these days. Wedding pics and new hair pics to come soon. :)