The morning after

We can just add yesterday to the list surreal experiences!

Having the procedure under local anesthesia without any sedation was a new experience for me. A little bizarre, I might add. Surreal is probably the right word. Anytime I have to be the one jumping onto the OR table is incredibly surreal for me. It's like being in some strange dream (dare I say nightmare?). Being awake and alert for the experience only magnified that feeling.

You learn something new everyday, right? Yesterday, I learned that I have much more sensation than I ever imagined! First, the surgeon did the typical testing for sensation. I couldn't see, but I've done this sort of thing enough times myself to know that he put an Alice clamp on the spot where the nipple was going to be created. I felt no pain whatsoever. Not even sure if I could really tell that there was something there. Your brain can play tricks on you when someone says 'Do you feel something sharp?' or something along those lines. Next, it was time to inject the local anesthetic, a little lidocaine. I even made a comment that I did not think it was exactly necessary. Umm... not quite. I was shocked when I actually felt the first needle go in! It means I am regaining sensation! That is soooo cool! I cannot even begin to explain how happy I am about that. Not everyone does and it takes a very long time. I should mention that first needle did not hurt. It's just that I could definitely feel it. I was aware a few more times on that breast. Then he moved on to the right one. Not sure which number injection it was, but boy did I feel that one. It got a definite 'ouch.' Note the use of the lowercase ouch there. have you guessed what's coming next? Yes. That's right, the full out, bold faced uppercase 'OUCH!' I not only felt that one but it hurt and not just a little bit. Wow.

The actual procedure was bizarre. I think if I could have watched, it would have been less so. Just like we tell our patients to expect with a c-section under an epidural, I could feel all sorts of stretching, pulling and tugging. I could feel every suture being cut. I could also feel the scrub nurse apply a little too much pressure when she was retracting. Ugh. Some people are not used to having an awake patient. In ob/gyn, we have awake patients in the OR all the time, so it's something we are quite used to and deal with very early in our training.

The whole thing took maybe 45 minutes for both sides. I was able to walk right out of the OR and into recovery. A little nicer than being pushed on a stretcher or on a wheelchair. The OR nurse offered, but I said I'd rather just walk if I could. It felt much more normal. :) Another nice thing about having a procedure under local, you don't have to wait and recover long. I still did get a snack in the recovery room though. I was starving by then! I was allowed to eat breakfast, but my case was originally scheduled for noon. I thought I'd be able to eat right afterwards, so I didn't have lunch beforehand. It was almost 2pm by the time I got into the OR. Fortunately, Howie went out and picked up lunch for us both while I was in the OR.

Another odd thing is that I am definitely aware of something. What that is, I'm not sure. I don't think it's all in my head. There's a feeling on my chest that is a little hard to describe. It's almost like I feel sore, as if I had just nursed a new baby. Remember that I don't have actual breast tissue and I certainly have no milk ducts. I've read other women's reports after nipple construction (I don't like to call it reconstruction, though technically it is a reconstruction I suppose.. I'm starting from nothing, so to me it's construction. LOL). I don't recall ever reading anyone else mention that they had some type of soreness in the nipple region afterwards. Most mention that they don't actually feel anything there. Some mention pain at the donor site. My surgeon did not use a donor site. He used the skin on my pseudo-breasts to create something out of nothing. I haven't actually taken a peek yet. I can today, but I'm waiting. I'm allowed to shower and remove the dressings today. Not sure I am ready to look yet. Not sure what to expect. Even more not sure what to wear! I have one of those lovely black surgical bras on again. This is number 3 in my collection. :P I need to keep the sites slathered with Neosporin, so obviously, I need to wear something. Not sure I want to wear one of my two real bras. Not keen on getting "stuff" on them but black really doesn't go well under most summer clothes. I half wish I had waited until the fall, but I'll be working my normal part-time job plus a full time temporary position (covering someone who will be out for maternity leave), so there wouldn't be time. And, if I had waited any longer, even more nerve sensation would have been back! Dreading the tatoos now that I know that I'll be able to feel it, at least in part!! I have to wait about 4 months for that. One thing I do know is that the nips are huge at first. They take about 4 months to settle down to whatever their normal size will be.

Nothing to do today except take Rachel to and from the theatre. There's tons of stuff that needs to be done in the house, but it will wait another day. I think the Cipro is making me a little dizzy, so sitting around might just be a good thing today!