Resolutions and leotards

I usually resolve not to have any resolutions, but not this year.

You've already read my first one- surgery free in 2008!

I'm also aiming for no new diagnoses for 2008 as well. I think my personal list of medical problems is more than long enough for someone in their early 40's.

I'm going public with this next one in hopes that I'll stick with it. If I can keep the above two goals in control, this will be more likely. I plan to lose 25 lbs in 2008. There. I said it. Or wrote it. Either way, it's out there now. Mind you, my internist was impressed that I managed not to gain weight on tamoxifen. Not entirely true because I've gained small amounts and then lost them. We're talking 2-3 pounds, up and down. I finally broke through and actually broke through that plateau. So, now I'm going the rest of the way. Still, despite tamoxifen, I am going to lose weight this year.

Just yesterday, I purchased what just might become my little insurance policy for that weight loss. I admit, the morning after the bilateral mastectomy, I suddenly became aware of my belly. After all, I could see it for the first time in decades. :P LOL. Yesterday brought about another of those revelations. There is little out there that is more motivating to lose weight than trying on a leotard and tights! Yes, I bought a leotard and tights for me. Not Rachel. For me. For the first time in 20 years, I am going back to dance class. Ballet specifically. So, I bought ballet slippers too. :)

I admit I am nervous! Almost in the same way I was nervous about getting my port installed. But that wasn't so bad so I'm hoping this won't be so bad either. When I mentioned it to my dad, he went on and on about how good I was, back in the day. I reminded him that 2 decades have passed. Didn't mention the extra 25 lbs that I carry either. It's funny, because back in those days, I wouldn't have been nervous about walking into any dance class. I could have taken almost any dance class and kept up. But that was then and this is now. I don't remember the names of steps anymore and my body doesn't exactly remember how to do them. I'm worrying over perfectly silly things like remember the steps for combinations, things I used to pick up the first time through.

No more excuses. I've been finding excuses for most of the last year. Too many surgeries to recover from. Too much weight to lose first. Not enough stamina. But, then someone pointed out that there will always be something. She was right. If I keep waiting for the perfect time to go back, I'll never go back. So, I'm going. At least I'm going to try it. Wish me luck!