Musings on the last day of March

I think I am gearing myself up mentally for that whole anniversary reaction bit.

My mind is going places where it hasn't been for sometime.

As I was driving home from taking Rachel to school this morning and running through my "to do" list for the day, it hit me that this was the last day of March. I tried to remember what the last day of March 2006 was like. I remember that we were coming out of a bit of stress as Howie had recieved a "lay off" notice earlier that month. March 31 was supposed to be his last day, but he was swept up by another group within the company, given more $, and ended up starting his new position that day. That notice was what sent the wheels into motion. I made appointments for all my so called routine check ups before we needed to start COBRA (which never happened either).

By now, we all know what happened next. It started quietly. My body was rebelling against me. First, my blood pressure was elevated at my gyn appointment. That made it so I could get in to see my internist much more quickly. Turned out it was probably stress related as that went away. Then, I went for my pelvic ultrasound. I had a small ovarian cyst we had been watching for years thanks to a family history of ovarian cancer. The cyst was no longer small and surgery was up for discussion. That discussion suddenly took a back seat once my mammography results were in. But, I'm jumping ahead. The mammography films did not occur until April 2006. Back in March 2006, I was still happily living in the land of the benign. I knew before the end of April that my life had changed. It was April 18. It wouldn't be confirmed until May 1, when I was officially diagnosed. But I knew when before I left the radiology suite on the day I had the additional films and the sonogram left no question at all.

Is there a point to this? I'm not sure. I do know that up until this morning, I was considering making a call to my oncologist about my hip pain. I kept telling myself it's related to all my dance classes. I didn't go to any classes at all last week. All I did for exercise was walk and clean the house (a small miracle on the latter). The pain persisted. When you live in Cancerville, every pain is a possible met (foci of metastatic disease). But, after a full week off from dance classes, my hip pain is gone. Doctor cure thyself. :) And yes, I am going back to dance class anyway. After all, tomorrow is Salsa day! When my hip start hurting again, I'll know just what to blame.

Salsa is a million times more fun than cancer anyday. :P