I missed it.

It completely passed me by.

There were little reminders that it was coming.

Then the day came and went, and I did not realize it for several days... maybe even a few weeks.

What did I miss?

I missed my cancerversary. On May 1, it was exactly 3 years from the day when I first heard those words "It is cancer." Granted, I already knew it was cancer for several days beforehand. If you are familiar with my story, you may remember that I read my own films. When some people hear that, they say things like "you shouldn't have looked" or "how could that be?" Unfortunately, with my background, seeing a film like mine hanging on the lightbox (or on the computer screen) is no different than anyone seeing the sky and knowing it is blue.

I suppose what is important is the moral of the story. I missed recognizing the date because I was too busy living my life. It was a Friday. I took Rachel to school, went to an exercise class, came home, showered, had lunch, made Rachel a smoothie, picked her up from school, took her to ballet class, left the studio 2 hrs later and drove an hour in a torrential downpour to catch a friend in a play. I take this as a good sign. I can't say I have moved on. I'm not sure you ever get to move on completely, especially when you take medication daily, visit your friendly neighborhood oncology-related medical professionals every 3 months, and of course, live with the permanent body changes. But I can say that there are many more days like May 1 when my own cancer history barely even registers on my mind, if at all.

And that, my dears, is my own happy thought for the day. No.. make that the month. :)