Bad Scrapbook Blogger

That's me.

I just realized I never shared the rest of my samples from Scribble Scrabble's other 2 lines.

Seriously folks (scrapper friends that is), these papers are so easy to use, they practically scrap themselves!

The first two are use papers and die cuts from Ruth's Collection. The frst one happens to be Rachel's resume photo from last summer. The second layout is from Sept 2006, when Rachel got her first pair of demi-pointes. Now imagine this scene.. these photos were taken maybe a week after my surgeries in Sept 2006. Rachel was begging for photos.. so she got me my camera and I sat on the couch and did my best. Had I been well, they would have been much better lit! LOL. Always a critic.

These two are from Carmen's Collection. The first layout is Rachel putting on her own make-up, including mascara, in the green room before a performance. The journaling talks about how this is just another sign that she is growing up so fast! The second layout is me with fellow YSC-er, Steph (not be to confused with Stef , a YSC lurker). The journaling is hidden in the little key envelope in the upper right.

High Anxiety

I thought I was bigger than this. Bigger and braver.

But, still, every once in a while, cancer slaps me in the face when I least expect it.

I expect it when I visit my young survivor message board. I expect it when I learn that we've lost yet another member (RIP Amanda) or learn that someone else has had disease progression.

I expect it as I approach my every 3 month series of medical appointments. That series is approaching rapidly. In the course of less than 2 weeks, I see my medical oncologist for a "routine" check up, I get a an infusion of Zometa to prevent bone mets, I see my internist and I will visit a new-to-me cardiologist. That makes me a little anxious. I prefer to see doctors I know personally. I admit I am considering changing the appointment to one of the cardiologists I do know. I also hate filling out the new patient forms. They never leave enough room for my list of surgeries and medical history.

Cardiologist, you ask? Why am I adding YET another doctor to my list?? The answer is two-fold (three fold, if count that my internist has been insisting on it for 2 years and I've been ignoring her). One is that some chemo drugs can be quite toxic to the heart. The other, more pressing reason is that my mother had her first MI at 51, not too deep into menopause. I am in menopause, thanks to removal of my ovaries, and I have inherited some of her other issues as well. In the "pro" column is the fact that unlike mom, I have never been a smoker, and I exercise regularly.

That brings me to the next source of recent anxiety. I added yet another exercise class to my weekly routine this week. I started taking Zumba, a Latin dance based exercise class. Think fast paced Latin music coupled with aerobic dance heavily infused with moves from salsa, mambo, chacha, etc. It's not quite what I am used to. The warm-up is not exactly what I'd call a warm-up. It is fun, though.

But that's not what caught me surprise.

It was the locker room. (cue deep dark music)

I have been taking ballet classes for a year now. I do change my clothes in a locker room on a regular basis. I don't know why this was suddenly such a hard thing for me. I didn't expect it. All of a sudden, I was extremely self conscious of the long scars that run from under my arms, across each breast, to the edge of my sternum. I know my scars are fading. I know that I have amazingly realistic tattoos (areolae) that make the scars less prominent in appearance. I bet no one would notice unless they were looking. And who really looks in a crowded locker room? Those facts were no comfort at that moment in time. All of a sudden, I was reminded that I am still considered a breast cancer patient and will, for all intents and purposes, no matter what my disease status, will always still be a breast cancer patient. I can't hide from that when I am naked in a group of strangers.

And now for something completely different....

It's that time of year again. The time of year that makes the hearts of addicted.. I mean... um... dedicated crafters sing "cha, cha, cha!" For my confused friends out there, CHA is actually the Craft and Hobby Association trade show. It's where all the new items that will appear in stores over the following months will be sold to retailers. The show begins shortly in Anaheim.

And once again, for the confused who are wondering why a cancer-surviving ob/gyn even knows about this show, let alone is talking about this show on her blog (BTW, she has even been to said show in the past), I will explain. Papercrafting, especially scrapbooking, is my hobby. Somehow, over the years, it became more than a hobby. I've dabbled on the sidelines of the industry for almost 10 yrs with publications in books and magazines and even teaching classes at stores and conventions. I don't do too much of that these days, but I do still create. I am very fortunate to be on the design team for a small Utah based company, Scribble Scrabble, who will be at the show.

So, without further ado, I present a sneek peak at Evelyn's Collection, one of three new lines.

Update

As these entries now automatically post to Facebook, which seems to be taking over for blogging for many, including myself, I thought it was time for a small update.

Unfortunately, my sister has had a rather eventful recovery from her bilateral mastectomy. There have been issues with healing. Yesterday, her incisions opened down to the layer of the actual tissue expanders. She underwent an unexpected surgery and had them removed. Essentially, on some levels, this is like having yet another bilateral mastectomy. She already had 600 cc in those expanders. My implants are 650 cc, so she was already at a decent size. But, now she's back to step 0.

She's actually doing very well despite this setback. Reconstruction will now have to take a backseat to recovery. Recovery is a long road. I've read many a time that if you've spent a year in treatment/surgery, it takes another year for your life to return to normal... the new normal. We certainly know by now that the old normal is dead and buried.

Nursing Care for Bilateral Mastectomy/Tissue Expander Patients

I am incredibly annoyed that I feel the need to address this.

My sister called and gave me her report from the evening and this morning.

I do remember what it was like. However, like childbirth, we tend to put the worst parts back into the deep recesses of our minds.

I had forgotten what it's like to not sleep well because the PCA button needs to be pressed every so often for pain control. She reminded me.

I did remember how hard it is not to be able to do simple things for yourself. How you can't change the channel on the TV set or even turn it off unless someone leaves it very close by. You can't reach for the phone to answer it. It has to be right there. She still reminded me.

I had forgotten that even though someone delivers your breakfast on a tray that unless someone helps you get it set up and gets you up to eat, it doesn't matter that it was delivered to you. You can't eat until someone helps you. She reminded me.

I had forgotten what it is like to wait all morning for someone to help wash you up. Help may be an exaggeration. You need someone to wash you. There's little you can do yourself. I will be explicit and add that wiping yourself in the bathroom is one of the most difficult chores you have. Pretty hard to reach that area when you don't have use of your pectoral muscles. No one ever came to help my sister wash up this morning. Her dh had to. She reminded me.

So, the purpose of this entry is not for my handful of regular readers. This entry is for when some young or not so young med-surg or oncology nursing student enters something like "post-op care for bilateral mastectomy patients" into a search engine they will may find this entry and get a clue! Your patients in this situation can barely use their arms at all. Hands, yes. Arms, no. The best nursing care will address this. And I hope to address this with the nursing supervisor later this afternoon myself.

Surgery Day

Today is my sister's bilateral mastectomy (aka "double" mastectomy) and expander placement. I imagine she is out of the OR and in recovery by now. I will be heading over in a little while to see her in person.

Boy, does this stir up memories. It's been just about 2 years and 4 months since I was in the same hospital, with the same surgical team, having the same procedure (and a few more, but who's counting?!) My most vivid memories include waking up with such a strong sense of peace. 2+ years later, I still have that same peace with my decision to go ahead with removing both breasts and ovaries. I hope she has the same peace. I watched her go through the same turmoil in making the decision, not wanting to take any more time off from her life than necessary, not realizing at first that this might be key to continuing the *new* version of life.

The first few weeks after this surgery are tough. You can't do much for your self. I couldn't open the refrigerator, couldn't open a bottle of water and couldn't turn the water in the shower off and on by myself. Driving? It was a good month before I could drive and I admit it was not comfortable doing so at that point. Compounding it all was that I had some major blues and mood swings as I had my ovaries removed on the same day. Perhaps her recovery will be a tad bit easier without having that additional procedure.

Still, even having gone through this not too long ago, it's hard to know how to make it any easier for someone else, especially someone else who was raised to be fiercely independent. Mom was quite successful in that regard!

Just got word that she is in the recovery room.

A little more Nutcracker

Just wanted to give equal time and share a few photos from Act 1.

I ended up with a great seat from which to take photos during the actual performance! I was a few rows back, but with mostly children in front of me. I was able to watch the entire Saturday night performance (which was magnificent) and then the second half of the final performance on Sunday afternoon so I could see Rachel as a Candy Cane (as in the previous post).

Speaking of the arts, I urge you to sign this on-line petition asking President Elect Obama to create a new position, Secretary of the Arts. The petition was started by NYC Opera orchestra bassist Jaime Austria. It's brief and to the point. You can sign and leave your email address as private.

With Visions of Sugar Plums... Sugar Plum Fairies that is!

We are knee deep into Nutcracker season around here. Performances start tonight. I thought I'd share a backstage photo of Rachel in her highly coveted Candy Cane (Russian in other productions) costume! I've been relegated (promoted?) to backstage work this year, so my usual performance/rehearsal photos will be limited. I did get a handful of nice backstage shots of the production in between my cueing and quick changing responsibilities. :)



In addition, I decorated a few more pointe shoes to sell at our boutique at the Nutcracker. Tried to go with a more Christmasy Nutcrackery feel (not sure that those are actual words). Did not get around to doing half of what I planned and blogger only lets me upload so many photos at once, so this is it for now.

*If they don't sell, they will be available for purchase starting next week and can be shipped in time for Christmas. Shoes are in assorted sizes and assorted brands, some are gently used, some are never used. NONE are meant to be danced in. They are strictly for decoration purposes. If you have your eye on one, you need to leave me an email address so I can contact you. I will delete your email address from the comments section so it won't sit there for more than a day.*

I completely forgot to add that you can see another of the pointe shoes over on Scribble Scrabble's blog . For my non-scrapbooker/crafter readers, Scribble Scrabble is a manufacturer of scrapbooking/paper crafting items. They are giving away a full set of their Suzy Snowflake line to a randomly selected reader. All you have to do is post a comment on their blog before Dec 19.

You've Come a Long Way, Baby

Forgive me for a little reminiscing this morning.... or afternoon. It's probably already after noon.



I was a rebel and skipped my weekly Pilates class this morning. I wasn't totally deliquent as I decided to attend a ballet class instead. It's not one of my usual classes, but I have taken this class one other time when there was no Pilates class on a sunny Thursday morning. I walked out of that class knowing that I had used all sorts of tiny little muscles in my back that I had forgotten existed.



Today, I was starting to wonder if I had made the right decision only about 5 minutes into class. Wow. I'll say that again. Wow. We started the class with a version of a floor barre that she (I'll name drop here for the ballet fans only... "she"is Susan Jaffe) learned in Europe at some point. One would think that doing barre exercises on the floor would actually be easier. You don't have to deal with gravity or balance in the same way. Right? Wrong. As I said, within the first exercise I knew I was moving into foreign ground. My muscles were feeling it before we even finished the first exercises, which were all done sitting up. I can't even begin to explain how difficult it is to sit upright during these deceptively simple exercises. And then it gets worse. You do them lying on your back. Finally, she tells you do lay on your belly and we do the same exercises. Just plies, pointe and flex and some passes. Nothing technically difficult, until she gets you to do every single one perfectly. Ouch. Her whole class was simple yet demanding. She gets you to use your muscles correctly constantly.



2 hours later, as I left the class, feeling sore (a good sore) and wondering how bad it will be later (I still have a jazz class to get through tonight, after parent-teacher conferences), it occurred to me that I could have not done any of this 2 years ago. 2 years ago, my exercise was going to physical therapy. Putting my arms into 5th position, above my head? That would have been impossible. It's all so foreign now. I feel so physically removed from that time.... and I love that! I really have come a very, very long way. I don't see that distance often. I don't give myself enough credit. But I will today. :) And, after Pilates ends in a few weeks, I'll be doing this floor barre routine on at least a weekly basis.



This week was also a return to Cancerville in so many ways. I had my 6 month breast surgeon visit. All was well. Had a full physical this week as well. Good news all around, though I am waiting on blood work. Good news for me. Good news for my sister who has just one more chemo session to go. Not so good news for a friend who learned that her disease has not responded to the treatment she has endured this fall. Plus there are several others I've spoken to or corresponded with this week who are still in the early stages of dealing with cancer. It's too much.



And now for my ads:



Only 10 days left to get the advance ticket sale pricing for the Nutcracker. :)

http://www.dancevisionnj.org/buy_nutcracker_tickets



and



crowdSPRING, hire Kelly Purkey for your new Community Marketing Manager!

Party Girls, Candy Canes and The Nutcracker

I still don't understand why Marie/Clara is so excited to get a nutcracker when all the other girls get American Girl dolls in Victorian era clothing. But I do understand that Rachel is beyond excited to be appearing in her third Nutcracker.

She had the same two roles in her first two Nutcrackers in 2006 and 2007. She played a bon-bon in Act 2 (polichinelle in some productions) and was a party child in Act 1. More specifically, she was a party boy. She was thrilled to be in the party scene the first go round, was OK with it the second go round, but her eye was on the prize the whole time. She truly wanted to be a party girl. In our production, the party girls are a bit older than most of the boys.... at least than the girls who are playing boys. This year, we have a few more boys so there is less of a need for little girls to play boys as well.

So, enter the drama this year. What would our lives be without a little drama now and then? Rachel knew she was too big to be a party boy again. The problem is that she was the smallest of the girls under consideration to be a party girl and almost did not get the role as the smallest costume is still a little big. Fortunately, in the end, she was given the part and all was well with the world.

That brings me to my point in making this entry. If you are local or reasonably close to central NJ and want to see this spectacular in person (and it IS spectacular, with a 98% student cast performing choreography set by world renowned ballerina, Susan Jaffe), you can purchase tickets online at http://www.dancevisionnj.org/buy_nutcracker_tickets . Rachel will be appearing as a Candy Cane (Russian in some productions) on Friday night December 5 at 7 pm and on Sunday afternoon December 7 at 4 pm. She will be a party girl on December 6 Saturday at 7 pm and December 7 Sunday at noon.

Mom, on the other hand, will be back stage this year. So, if you do plan to attend, let us know which performance so we can find you afterwards.

Halloween, revisited

Look at that! 2 posts in one day. I even have a third one floating around my head that might make it from my brain to the keyboard.

We'll see.

In the meantime, here are the various incarnations of Rachel's Halloween costume this year.

The original version, from our annual costume photo shoot on the canal.

Then, we have the version she wore to the school 5th and 6th grade Halloween dance party. We came directly from ballet, so she's actually wearing her ballet uniform leotard. She decided it was too hot and too fussy to wear the wig. Kind of funny how she discovered that cheap wigs are hot and itchy. Of course, she did not listen to me when I told her that in the first place. That's OK. All part of being a teenager. Oh.. that's right.. she's still got 2 years until she is a teenager!!

And here is the version that she actually wore on Halloween. I believe she called herself a "punk fairy" this night. She went to a friend's house to trick or treat. You can't tell in this photo of our yard, but we really don't have many nearby neighbors. Just one. After trick or treating, they were joined by another friend to watch scary movies. They watched "Poltergeists." It was brand new for all of them. :o It must hold up well. Scared the dickens out of Rachel. She had trouble sleeping that night!

Race for the Cure.. a few photos

I know, I know. These are overdue.

I am just not into blogging at the moment, I suppose. But, I did get one single request for these photos, so here they are!

We have Rachel in the T-shirt she and I made. They say "2 Sisters 2 Young 4 This" on the front, in the form of a math equation because , after all, we are a family of math geeks. We made matching shirts for both Lucas and Hannah, but Lucas did not want to put his on and Hannah was not interested in showing hers off.

The only reason this photo was even taken was because a sorority girl asked Beth if she could take her picture for their scrapbook. I remember our sorority keeping a scrapbook back in the day. It's funny. I was wearing the same pink survivor shirt that everyone else was wearing. Yet, when I went up to various booths, I was not recognized as a survivor. You'd think it might have been the hair, but I think no chemo is more common than chemo these days. It could have been the age, but I think I'm looking pretty old these days. Whatever.

Stay tuned for post #2. I have pink Halloween pictures to follow. :)

An entry to end a month of pinkwashing

Now, this is a survivor! I'd even go out on a limb and say she was cured. Unfortunately, in the world of breast cancer, you cannot be pronounced cured until you manage to die from something else. We have no cure. Just treatments. There is such a thing as "no evidence of disease," but unfortunately, that is not the same thing as a cure.


http://www.jacksonville.com/tu-online/stories/103108/met_350169631.shtml


Approaching her 101st birthday, she says it "is not a death sentence."
By SHAKAYA ANDRES, The Times-Union

Times were different - to say the least - when Ruth Mooneyhan got breast cancer more than six decades ago.

Surgery was performed only one way because doctors knew so little about the disease. It wasn't talked about openly, the way people do today. And after-care? When Mooneyhan couldn't afford a prosthesis after a radical mastectomy of her right breast, she took matters into her own hands.
She made her own.

"A lady at Sears Roebuck cut me out a pattern," said Mooneyhan, who grew up in Marianna but now lives at a nursing home on Jacksonville's Westside. "I put my own pockets in."

Mooneyhan is believed by the American Cancer Society to be one of the oldest - if not the oldest - breast cancer survivors in the U.S. At 100, she is inspiring family and friends who marvel at her resilience after being afflicted with a disease whose mortality rate in the 1940s was as high as 50 percent.

Ernest Mooneyhan was 15 when his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer in 1943. He still admires her ability to cope with breast cancer at the young age of 35.

"She's definitely been an inspiration to me," he said. "She didn't let anything get her down. She's very close to the Lord. She believes it's because of the Lord's mercy and grace that she's still living."

The memories of suffering from breast cancer are a bit foggy for Ruth Mooneyhan, but one thing is certain: They will never be completely forgotten.

"I didn't know what [breast cancer] was, but I knew it was serious in my own mind," she said.

Mooneyhan was married with five children, all under 18, when she felt a lump in her right breast. She remembers how painful it was when she rubbed down on the lump.
"It was just a sore. [It felt] like a boil," she said. After doctoring the lump with cold packs and other home remedies for about a week, she gave up and went to a physician. The news wasn't good: A biopsy revealed breast cancer.

"I was heartbroken when the doctor told me ... I was scared," she said. "I never thought I'd live to see my children grow up."

She sat on the porch crying and praying before the surgery, and then she got her answer.
"A thought dropped down in my heart saying 'you'll see him larger than he is today,' " she said of her 2-year-old son, who she was swinging. "I saw him get grown and another one, too. It was an answered prayer."

She wasn't the only one scared. Her family was, too. They didn't know anything about cancer or anyone to turn to for answers.

Ernest said he remembers vividly the anguish his family went through the day his mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.

"We were scared she had to have surgery," he said. "I think it would have been a real encouragement to her if she knew somebody [who could relate]."

Officials with the American Cancer Society's Florida division confirmed that tumor registries didn't begin until after World War II, and mass screenings for breast cancer weren't being done before then.

"Wow, I've never heard of someone [who has survived breast cancer for so many years]," said Lisa Braswell, a spokeswoman for the division.

In the early part of the 20th century, there was only one standard treatment for breast cancer, added Troy Guthrie, director of education and research at Baptist Cancer Institute. Radiation was in its beginning stages, and chemotherapy and hormonal therapy were non-existent.

"They have made enormous improvements in treatment and technology," said the 34-year oncologist. "[Doctors'] understanding of how to do the surgery then [was] not as nearly as good as today."

Death rates have significantly declined over the years - to 21.4 percent in Florida, according to the state Department of Health - with increased public awareness, improved breast cancer surgery and superior screenings.

For Mooneyhan, doctors in Marianna didn't have the equipment to perform a Halsted radical mastectomy - the disfiguring and debilitating standard surgery in the '40s in which the breast, chest muscles and all of the lymph nodes under the arm are removed.

She was referred to Jacksonville, where she stayed at her sister-in-law's house for a month after her surgery.

After the procedure, she went back for x-rays of her chest every month for years as a precaution to make sure the cancer didn't reappear.

Now, just months away from celebrating her 101st birthday, Mooneyhan said she is blessed to have lived a fulfilled life. She wants to encourage women with breast cancer to hold on to their faith.

"I just had faith and believed that the Lord would bring [me] through," she said. "[Breast cancer] is not a death sentence."

It's almost over!

Yes! Pink month is almost over. :) Are you aware? I sure am.

I've had billions of blog entries floating around in my head, but nothing that I felt compelled to put to paper.. err.. keyboard.

I do have pictures to share. They are all very pink, so I hope you'll pardon me. While pink is a color that I do actually like and has been one of my favorites for a long time, I'm just tired of pink at the moment, so I just might not share my Race for the Cure photos nor Rachel's Halloween photos (we did a pre-Halloween photo shoot on the canal) until after Nov 1.

On other fronts, it is that time of year again. The Nutcracker is rapidly approaching and I will be doing more decorated pointe shoes to sell at our boutique. They are available for purchase directly through me as well, with all the profits going directly to DanceVision. To answer other questions that have come up, the shoes are NOT meant to be danced in and come in a variety of sizes- basically whatever I am given to work with. I can post pics of these later next month as well.

In the meantime, I *can* share some other photos, and maybe even make you hungry.

These cheesy garlic biscuits remind me very much of the biscuits from Red Lobster. Better yet, they are pretty quick and easy to make. This recipe comes courtesy of Alisa Bangerter and PaperCraft Magazines upcoming special issue, PC Gourmet.

Cheesy Garlic Drop Biscuits
INGREDIENTS
2 c. flour
2 tbsp. granulated sugar
4 tsp. baking powder
1 1/2 tsp. garlic powder
1/2 tsp. salt
2/3 c. butter or margarine
1 1/2 c. grated cheddar cheese
1 1/4 c. milk
Chives (optional)

DIRECTIONS
Mix together dry ingredients. Cut in butter with pastry cutter until mixture is fine. Add cheese and mix well. Add milk and stir until just moistened. Drop by spoonfuls onto greased baking sheet. Sprinkle top with chopped dried or fresh chives if desired. Bake at 400 degrees for approx. 15 minutes


I admit that I don't have a pastry cutter and I'm not sure I'd know what one looks like unless perhaps my 11 yo daughter pointed it out. I do have a nice Kitchen Aid mixer (thank you Martha) and it works quite well for this purpose!

And all that jazz!

So, you've followed my adventures in cancerland. You've followed my return to the world of twirly girls as I went back to ballet after about 25 years.



You've probably guessed it already. If you are a friend on Facebook you already know.



I went back to jazz class this week.



The break was not quite as long as ballet. I did continue jazz classes a bit longer, on a rather irregular schedule, until medical school began. So, instead of almost a 25 year break, it's closer to a little over 20 years. Like that makes a difference!



And even better, this was an adult beginner Broadway jazz class. Quite unlike the advanced adult ballet class I jumped right into back in January. It was easy and there was nothing complex. It did not require anywhere the same amount of brain power that I require to even get through the first exercises at the barre in ballet. And thank goodness for that because this class is at night and I am not sure I am capable of doing that sort of thinking that late in the evening. Critical medical thinking, yes. But retaining complex combinations in my head and then performing them, and even reverse, flipping them to the left side, no!



Don't get me wrong. It might not have been a mental stretch, however, it was definitely a physical stretch! I do have a natural turn out and have to think to stand in parallel. It came back to me that it was always a challenge to go from ballet to jazz class. And while it might not have required the same level of brain power on my part, it's not like I wasn't wishing there was a shower in the studio when I walked out of the class!



Did I mention the class was fun? What a blast it was! There were 4 of us, all in our 40's. I am excited because all of us are committed to continuing with the class. One of the others is even trying to figure out when she can get to the adult ballet classes now. Ah yes... another addict has been created. The instructor is a riot. He takes much of the classic Luigi style warm-up and uses them in his own way with a heavy dose of humor. I've watched the kids and even older teens take his class and they are smiling the whole time. I know I did as well.



So... now on Tuesday night, I'm going back again. They are also starting a beginner lyrical jazz class for adults too. I can't commit to another night, especially one when Rachel is actually NOT at the studio, but I want to at least try the class. (The first one is free). It should be an interesting contrast.

September is nearly over...

which means October is almost here.

Not sure how I feel about October this year and the inevitable onslaught of pink which has already infiltrated most of the universe. October, for the uninitiated, is the month where breast cancer is thrown in your face at just about every turn.

As a survivor, it's a constant reminder. Sometimes, that's just not a helpful thing when you are moving on as much as you can from breast cancer. Then again, with a sister now following closely on my heels on this path, I've already been pulled back into this world. I don't need a reminder. On the other hand, I think I am actually pretty darn well. September 12 passed and it did not occur to me that the day was anything other than my father's birthday... instead of being the second anniversary of living without my breasts and ovaries. Not too shabby.

What I do need is hope. My sister and I both have daughters. We need hope that maybe, just maybe, our girls will not walk this road. So, all this awareness and fundraising, in my eyes, is for them and little girls like them everywhere.

I do urge you to "Think Before You Pink" though. Look at where your money is going from the pink products you might buy. Some of these products around in October are just pink! No money from the sale is going anywhere other than someone's pockets. Look at how much... or how little is going to the cause. Some of the companies producing special pink products are donating pennies, or less, to the charitable organization they show on the package label. Your money is better spent giving directly to the specific organization in many cases. Of course, if I am buying a package of York Peppermint Patties, you'd better believe I'm buying the one with the pink wrappers that sends a few pennies to the Young Survival Coalition.

And, I am once again participating in the Race for the Cure early next month. I even have the whole weekend off for a change of pace. Please consider supporting our me or join our team, 2Sisters2Young4This in our race against time to find a way to truly PREVENT this from happening in the first place.

End of plug. :)

Reflections on 9/11

This morning, the radio show I sometimes listen to in the morning was inviting listeners to share to their 9/11 stories. Living where we do, the stories are mainly people who lost loved ones or people who were very close by, if not at the WTC.

My story starts with me sitting at this very same desk, typing on this keyboard (computer has since been replaced though). I wrote about it as a distraction on the morning before my "bilateral mastectomy + ooph + whatever other procedures we could cram in" day. Instead of reinventing the wheel, I will share that link once again.

http://melissaga.blogspot.com/2006/09/91101-where-were-you-when-you-heard.html

I've talked about defining moments before. This was one for our family. Thankfully, a positive one. I can't fathom how I could have gotten through the past 2 years of my life without my husband by my side.

Whale Watching in Alaska

There's no way around this. I have literally over 1000 photos to go through. I started printing some today so I have something to show when people say "Show me your Alaska pictures." I thought I would just print a handful, an assortment from each exciting thing we did or saw.
Yeah right. I've printed probably 150 today alone and there's still more. This is just not going to work. I've decided that I am going to put these in a traditional pocket photo album, something I have not used in over a decade!

I've made an executive decision. I am going to make a simple photo book (Artscow.com) or two or three for the entire trip. Don't worry. You'll still get to see the occassional layout. I am going to use the 12x12 Alaska scrapbook album Howie bought me on the trip to do a "my favorite photos/moments" from the trip sort of thing.

Sounds like a plan. A little less overwhelming anyway!

Here are a few more photos from Alaska. These are from our Wildlife Cruise aka whale watching. We saw 14 whales! Much more than they normally see at this time of year. The first two photos are of a whale cub. It came out of the water in a full breach, not once, not twice, but three times! Howie managed to catch it on his camera phone. I had trouble getting decent whale photos, but love the tail shot below.

We also saw many sea lions.... and many is an understatement. We sailed right by an island with literally hundreds of these guys.

We interrupt this program...

I started the blog to share my little cancer journey in a public fashion, mainly to make it easier for friends and family to keep up with what was happening. Since all I normally do these days is pop a tamoxifen tablet, there's not usually much to discuss.

Until Friday.

Didn't mean to scare you. There's nothing going on.

However, on Friday, I accompanied my sister to the chemo room where we both received treatments. She was given her second dose of adriamycin and cytoxan and I received my first ever dose of Zometa.

Zometa is a drug for osteoporosis. It's an IV drug, given once a year for this purpose. It is also used on a more frequent basis for treating women with metastatic disease to their bones. I do not have this. What is exciting to me is a small study presented at ASCO, one of the big oncology conferences, back in May. A study looked at 1800 women who were premenopausal at diagnosis, with hormone receptor positive tumors (just like me). The women where then randomized to treatment. Half were given traditional hormonal treatment (such as tamoxifen or an aromatase inhibitor) plus ovarian suppression (this is not traditional.. yet!), the other half received the same PLUS Zometa infusions every 6 months for 3 years. There was a 36% DECREASE in the recurrence rate for those who received Zometa in just the first 5 years of this study. Dr. Susan Love's Research Foundation has a nice discussion on the study here.

I found this study extremely intriguing. And promising. I recognize that 1800 is a small number and that 3 years of treatment and 2 more years of follow up is a short time. But, it is not often that we see prospective studies specifically looking at women who were thoroughly premenopausal at diagnosis. As I have had the ultimate in ovarian suppression, a bilateral oophorectomy (no more ovaries), this study pertains directly to me. When I saw my oncologist in August, I mentioned that I wanted to discuss the study. Much to my surprise, he agreed to give me the medication, figuring that at the worst, it would help strengthen my bones, a very common problem for post-menopausal women. At the best, it is another tool in our armory to crush the beast which is breast cancer.

So.. I had the Zometa. I've been fairly open here about my side effects with various drugs (even if it did take me a few months to talk about what Arimidex did to me!), so I thought I might share once again. I had my IV on Friday morning. Went to lunch with my sister afterwards, picked Rachel up from school and headed home. All was good with the world. I did what I was told and stayed very well hydrated. Thought this might just be a breeze. Friday was a hot and sticky night here. Not for me. After I went to bed, I was overcome by shaking chills. My teeth were literally chattering! Definitely the "flu-like" symptoms mentioned as one of the most common side effects. Made it difficult to sleep. It did alterate a bit with feeling flushed, but the chills definitely predominated! The next day, Sept 6, was my birthday. Unfortunately, it turned into one of those days that just disappears from the calendar. I did nothing all day. Generalized malaise and fatigue would be the medical descriptors. Loss of appetite too (so much for going out to dinner)! I did what I was told and took Tylenol, but it did not seem to make a difference. Fortunately, I woke up on Sept 7 feeling like myself, headed off to work a half day (12 hrs) and did just fine. We finished celebrating on Sunday and now it's like nothing ever happened.

From those who've taken it for mutliple times for other reasons, I hear it gets easier each time. I am going to believe that. :)

A little postscript about my sister:
She's at that very rotten part of the journey where you lose your hair. It started just before chemo on Friday. She had her hair cut very short on Saturday and is now wearing wigs, etc. She seems to be handling this part with remarkable aplomb. But of course.. she's my sister!

More random photos from our Alaskan cruise

Back to the Skagway tour. This is an actual shot of the White Pass train. This is not the highest narrow little bridge we passed over, just one where I was brave enough to stick my camera out and get a shot! I was expecting to perhaps be a little bored on this trip. It was after lunch and it was a second view of the same landscape we saw on the bus tour.. but not at all from the same view. Absolutely breathtaking. I only have a few hundred more photos from this part of the trip.

Now we are back in Juneau! We went first to the Mendenhall Glacier, which you can see behind Rachel. We did see bears on this trip and I do have an amazing close up of a cub from our bus tour, but not from hear. Too many bears spotted on the trail, so it was closed! We did see salmon swimming upstream. I can only imagine what a field day the bears must have at this stream.

The second half of this excursion was a wildlife cruise. We actually saw 14 whales on our cruise. My shots of the whales are pretty good, but Howie managed to get a shot of one whale in a full breach.. not once, but three times! We also saw 100s of sea otters, most just hanging out on this little island.